NOT eXpecially people!!! NO X! NO X! it's eSpecially... this is a freaking virus of stupidity... ah, hell. why am I not sooprized?

ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?????

two words: christmas advertisements?

ahh... the dulcet tones of a poo brewing in a small belly... the laughing triumph of success leads only to a screaming pain in the wet rear...

now I'm irritated... can't just post my pic to both my computer AND my phone... i'm tech slow.

Just trying out some new tricks!!

Just so all you ladies feel better about yourself... my baby flab is taking it's sweet time melting away... I don't have the "own-it" gene, thusly I mope. So there.

K. Juvenile moment done.

My 14 year old boy moment: the remote control bomber is named Ferdaus... pronounced "fartus"... At least that's how Karen Travers of ABC pronounced it... I can't even get how serious it is because I'm laughing too hard...

It's oooohhh so easy to poke someone else's kid. Am currently trying desperately to not lose my sh@! anticipating the pain in his face. My only solace is that Cerulean has no idea what's coming. Off to get his first immunizations.

This really, really bums me out... I LOVE my Amazon, but I guess I have to give it a rest until we are all treated better....
http://ping.fm/phZTO

so bummed -- Cerulean doesn't fit in his awesome onesies that his friend Deinise Lee made for him :( -- despite my best efforts the snaps won't come together...

riddle me this: baby yawns, I yawn; I yawn, baby stares at me bord-like.

I have a serious milk drunk lying in my lap... milk just rolling down his cheek with no regard for his dignity...

growing up is this hard? really?

ahhh... the dulcet tones of ... code brown happening... and now... I must clean up said code brown... good morning tuesday.

i always knew spongebob was pure evil wrapped in a bright yellow sponge...

maybe the spongebob marathons i watche are the cause of it all...

non dog geeks won't understand.... http://ping.fm/Q3Kba

correction... this to the hasbeen/thnx joanie -- i plead three hours sleep fir the last six weeks... http://ping.fm/Wcohc

thanks joanie! to my husband http://ping.fm/Xq0r0

awesome article & o good reminder ~ I'm that annoying mom that relates by comparison... i just know it - http://ping.fm/9rWJN

glad that Obama at least sounds intelligent, even if it is all just more politics... sad really.

here comes the poo flood... i can feel it brewing in him...

once again... and I will keep reminding you until you get it... there is NO X IN ESPECIALLY... NO X... DON'T SOUND STUPID... e-Specially... --get it?

om-effing-crud--- "hoarders" is one of the scariest shows I have ever seen....

having a *must walk away* moment... I am ensuring that I will permanently screw up his trust issues around women, aren't I? ;)

However, try as I might, he doesn't quite fit in the incredible Giants outfit my friend Karen gave us... DARN.

the newborn pajamas no longer fit :(
neither do the NB diapers...
it all happens too fast *sigh*

you'd think that after having my own baby, I'd better understand the constant thundering of my neighbor kids... you'd think, but I just don't.

Lunch time CODE BROWN people!! Move outta the way!!

I have learned that I was right when I made damn sure we had our own laundry...

I have learned that pajamas with feet are great as long as your baby has normal size feet and short legs.

what I have discovered as a new mom -- snaps are NOT my friend at 330 in the morning

I'm laughing all the way to freakin' Safeway for some Hershies -- Boo-ya you dark chocolate snobs!!
http://ping.fm/zkV13

until my awesomely rotund back end diminishes, i have a hard time justifying a jeans purchase... thanks pregnancy... still unsure what my butt size had to do with making a person..

i just saw a note that one of my childhood friends is turning 40... FREAKIN' 40!! I say it again... 40!! why does this bother me SO MUCH MORE than 30 did???

he's so cute, its stupid

my baby was "dancing" to "obla di obla da" ... early Beatles intro is key to sturdy brain activity as a grown up...

Walked the pissy right outta the kid... left him in the swaddle sack for the baby carrier... got a good walk in at the Botanical Garden and came home to a magically cured Poco (vinegar water sprayed in the ear, if you must know) -- still have to conquer Flip ... gonna eat while he's out... sheesh...

Poco can't stop scratching his ear or shaking his head, Flip? has licked a hot spot on some bump inside his leg, Twist can't stop licking her hind end and it's AGAINST THE LAW OF CERULEAN to be put down -- don't bother with the carrier advice -- tried and failed -- crying it out is not my cup o tea when he's a month old so I'm stuck listening to the clatter of Poco's constant flapping and the other licking... misery all around...

wanna know how to age five years in a month? - sleep three hours a night... really, it's like being drunk...

still stalling... all is well... entertaining family is so entertaining...

needles to make a baby come... sure, why not... Kombucha didn't do it... OH... and I have walked... every darn day...

Go anorexia! Not just for single women any more! WTF??? http://ping.fm/zmVUb

officially overdue...officially... no matter what due date you go by...is this a precursor to his entire life...procrastination gene - check

two hours and $10 later, I can read my friend Sal's work on my iPad. Now, I can REALLY get some stuff done for her!!! YEAH!

Now here's something to really rattle you... if you're a woman with a brain, you should be rattled:
http://ping.fm/e5uGG

or this:
http://ping.fm/5EUjg

Here's something to freak out about:
http://ping.fm/nKwKQ

I'm not going to even dignify the death of a musical princess who pissed away opportunities that others (probably just/more talented) would have killed for... I have better things to do...

not yet. not so much as a peep of maybe...

I think that 630 am is too early to be woken by the thunder of other people's children... Note to self, my kid is the cutest, most awesome thing only to me (if he ever comes out)....

some lady on TV just said that bacon had to move over for "new food trends" ... where have I been?? seriously??? In ten years, will bacon be retro???

and I quote, "Facebook is so passe." like Myspace and friendster and ... and ... so, in like ten years, will Facebook be totally retro??

Google +, Twitter, FB, Linkdin, RedRoom, Blogger, Amazon...I'm forgetting something... do I really NEED to be that connected?

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. -- Mae West

if I were just hanging around in warm goo, without responsibility and the reality of a cold, cruel world, I wouldn't come out either...

We can love an honest rogue, but what is more offensive than a false saint?
Jessamyn West, 1902 - 1984

no news is... no news... just more waiting ...

hiccups that rock my body but aren't my own...

a million things that need to be done or I should be doing and all I want to do is... nothing...

have you ever been humbled by the astounding generosity of people that call themselves your friends... I have/am ... regularly...

Winnie-the-Pooh and Harry Potter on my birthday... thank you movie land people...

I am going to do laundry instead.

I am not rising to my own ire in the soapboxing, grandstanding or spreading of fear over small amounts of information from others.

how did I let my husband convince me that I needed to have pink camouflage fingernails?

k. not that I EXPECT you to move when you see me and my big belly. I just thought there was enough sidewalk for me, your blonde hair and your freakin' gym bag. My bad.

judging by the size of the watermelon once known as my waistline, I would say I'm indeed still pregnant.

All I have to do is read about bugs to insist on changing out of my pajamas before bed... I have turned into such a wimp.

interesting that all I can see is a dog head. Um. Do you want to go outside, Flip?

Maybe Wilbur will get a job on NPR, where his title will be "contributor and professional blogger".

Wilbur Lintmore. Profession: Bloggist, BFA Stanford.

Hello, my name is Wilbur Lintmore, I have a BFA in Blogging from Stanford.

Is blogging going to evolve into something requiring a degree from a prestigious university to be taken seriously? http://ping.fm/dwP3j

WTF??? Britney Spears in the Castro??? Performing??? I don't buy it. A good drag queen performance... Now THAT I'd go see...

Here's the reason that TV pregnant women look so much different from the real thing: they are not in a race with Dolly Parton like the rest of us...

What does the size of my vastly growing rump have to do with making a person?

Can anyone explain to me why it takes men 300 hours to poo?

PS ... have no idea really who Justin Beiber is, other than another preteen media machine. Funny, don't feel like I'm missing anything...

Ahh... thursday morning... two dozen of garbage emails ... rain to make up for the sunny last couple of weeks ... at least there's coffee...

NOT CUTE. Other people's children running up and down the hall next door, rattling my walls is NOT CUTE. No matter how cute the kid is. It's pretty easy to teach kids that running is for inside only. If you want a breezy, free kid, move to the country. NOT where you have neighbors.

deja vu Punxsutawney Phil showed himself... no shadow... solid spring ... Groundhog Day on repeat ....
Love you, babe! Happy Birthday Gramma!!

Is ACTUALLY going to LONDON... whoop! Whoop! six nights of adventure... check one off the bucket list... ~ Thanks Duane!!!!!

I have the best sisters in the world!!! I only wish that it was longer.... thanks Kirsten for a wonderful house that was more like a resort than anything!!!

another knock to cancers (astrology people) the world over... Henry the VIII ... ugh...

three days until the Boise bitches take over LA! HA! the place will never be the same... YAHOOOOOOO!!!!

err.... excuse me???
http://ping.fm/hGAEm

Got my Golden Heart entries... so excited... it's feeling really, real now!!! Yahoo!!!

VOW - I will not steal books via google or any other way. I believe in the value of paying for the time the author took to write what I read. Unless given by the author, $ out pocket is fine by me.

complaint: SERIOUSLY??? parking the car, we drove by our house, finding a man taking a dump between cars. RIGHT in front of our house. These are the days I don't like living in the city... GROSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

NPR - are you effin' kidding me? In order to read Huckelberry Finn or Tom Sawyer in school or the library, we have to take out the "N" word?? Instead, let's not be distracted by the fact that word existed. That the ugliness and power of that word was a intrinsic part of the lexicon at the time the books were written... Better still, let's just pretend it didn't happen. Like evolution... or the genocide of Native Americans...

my mantra for 2010 - do something that scares me... falling on my face after dislocating my knee qualifies... my mantra for 2011... still working on it...